The Game Isn't Over.

Earlier this evening, I was playing the game "Fruit Ninja," which consists of using your finger to cut fruit in half, trying to avoid bombs (which results in the game ending if you hit one), and trying not to miss any fruit. It's a three strikes and you are out kind of game, where the goal is to slice as many pieces of fruit in half as possible. It's addicting, but tonight...I was getting so frustrated because I kept hitting the bombs and in turn, losing the game. I saw the words "Game Over" more times than not. Silly, I know...but, I began thinking about it....and realized that my life is a lot like "Fruit Ninja."

Here's what I mean: How often do I get so caught up in "slicing the fruit," and going through the motions of every day life, that I don't stop long enough to look around....and instead hit the "bombs" and mess up? How often do I get stuck in the situation or circumstance I may find myself in and build a wall simply because sometimes feeling something hurts? How often do I feel so defeated that it's like the enemy is saying "Game Over" and I actually begin to fall for it....and I begin to give up, when in reality, I KNOW I shouldn't?

Maybe I'm the only one. Or...perhaps you understand exactly where I'm coming from.

Maybe you feel like Satan is flashing the "Game Over" sign. Maybe you just want to give up. Maybe you feel so defeated that you just don't know what to do. Perhaps you feel like there is absolutely NO way God can make something good out of the situation in which you find yourself. Maybe you feel like you have no purpose, and no potential....and perhaps you feel like God's finished with you. Perhaps you are struggling with what God's plans are for your life. Maybe you have something or someone in your life that has taken the place of God, and God simply isn't your priority. Maybe you feel so far from God, you just don't think you will ever be able to start new again. Perhaps you are feeling so many emotions because of something that has happened in your life, that you are so overwhelmed, you don't even know where to turn. Or maybe...you are simply hurting....

Whatever it is.....here's what I feel like God wants me to say to you, and to me....because I am in need of this too:

*This game of life for you isn't OVER....it's just begun....and Jesus is ready for you. He's ready for YOU and ALL of your problems, feelings, emotions, baggage, and anything else you are willing to give him. Jesus is ready for you. He's ready to carry your burdens for you. "Cast all your anxiety on him because HE CARES FOR YOU." 1 Peter 5:7

*Don't you dare give up. God hasn't given up on you and He has a race marked out for you. Hebrews 12:1-2 says: "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."

*We may feel defeated, but with God as our strength, WHO can defeat us? Romans 9:31 says: "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

*We could possibly feel like there is nothing good to come of what has happened, and there is no way God can make something good out of our situation or circumstance. However, God's word says otherwise. "And we know that in ALL things (not some things, not her things, not his things, but ALL things....) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.

*God ISN'T finished with you yet! God is ready to USE you for His Glory. You have so much God-given purpose and potential within you and God is so ready to let it out of you. He's NOT finished with you!! Philippians 1:6 says: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..."

*God has a plan for you! God's plans are SO much better than the plans that we have for ourselves....He doesn't give us lesser things. God's plan is in place even when your plan for yourself isn't. "For I KNOW the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

*God is closer than you think. If you seek Him, you will find Him. Acts 17:27 says: "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."

*God's love for us will not change. "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

*Lastly, TURN TO JESUS. Run to Him. Go. Just as you are. He's ready for you. He's waiting. If you have no where else to turn....turn to Jesus. Jesus will not let you down.

God is NOT finished with you yet! The game is NOT over. My hope and my prayer is that this would speak to someone. I feel like I wasn't even the writer of this blog....God was. And I know I needed this reminder from God's word. Let it be a reminder to you that God isn't finished.....and the game sure isn't over.

death, grief, and hope.

Death. A subject that is rarely talked or written about, yet it's also a subject that cuts the deepest. In my personal opinion, losing a loved one is the most difficult and excruciating thing any person will ever deal with. Death changes lives and changes people. My grandmother's death in April changed my life, and the lives of those in my family. I vividly remember the day we found out that my Mawmaw had a mere 48 hours left to live. It was a moment we all saw coming as she had been struggling with a horrible long term illness. I sat in a chair in her room in the Intensive Care Unit, and the doctor came in and called my mother and grandpa out of the room. I knew at that moment that the news they would hear wouldn't be good.

I watched my grandmother as she was hooked up to countless machines...and for the first time in a while, she looked comfortable. We had spoken to her the evening before, but the medication she was on had her heavily sedated. Before they came back in, I watched my sweet Mawmaw as she took each breath...I held her hand and gently touched her hair...something that she had spent years doing the same to me. I'll never forget the feeling when they came back into that tiny hospital room and said the words, "48 hours to live." We had all seen it coming, but I had never wanted to face it. I dreaded the day that I would lose my sweet Mawmaw. Tears flowed. I'll never forget looking at her and realizing that within 48 hours, she would no longer be with us.

Later on that day, my entire family filled the room and the doctor took off the machine that was acting as her ventilator. We were told that it could be any amount of time: from an hour to many hours. It just depended on the person. We were all one big mess as we told stories, shared memories, laughed, and especially cried. I vividly remember bursting out into sobs at one point. Terri came over to me and hugged me as I cried. Once I calmed down enough, I asked her to pray. I am not sure I've ever heard a more powerful prayer in all of my life. It was a moment that I went from complete sobs to a strong sense of peace. In that moment, I knew that together, with God's help, my family would make it through this difficult time.

It wasn't until the following day, on April 4th, that my Mawmaw took her last breath on earth. She made her departure and entered into the Joy of her Maker. It was a moment that is forever engraved into the minds and hearts of all who were in the room. The depth of the pain my family was feeling was by far the deepest we've felt. It was excruciating, but in the midst of it, we also had (and still do) a tremendous sense of peace in knowing that she was Home and was with Jesus, where she had been longing to be.

I have never been more grateful for the HOPE that we have in Jesus. My family is still grieving, but not as those without hope. I've learned that you never get over grief and the loss of a loved one, you just get through it. It's a journey, and one that I don't think ever ends. The pain of losing someone is the worst thing in the world, but I am more than grateful that this earth is not our Home. Death isn't a subject that is really discussed. It isn't something that is fun to think about, hear about, read about, or talk about. But, it's necessary. And so is grief. Death is something that comes into our lives, and causes much pain and sorrow. Death is something that changes lives, and changes people. It's changing me. But, the good news is: there is hope in Jesus, and Jesus is our hope when we feel like we have everything...and when we feel like we've lost everything. And absolutely NOTHING can separate us from the love, hope, and eternal life we find in Jesus...not even death. Praise God.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

all tangled up...

I am constantly amazed at how God uses the smallest of details to prove something to me. Yesterday, as I was getting my outfits and jewelry ready for my senior pictures, I found my all-time favorite necklace that I wanted to wear in the pictures. The only problem was that this particular necklace was all tangled up. It had several knots and was a complete disaster. I was absolutely determined that this tangled up necklace would be untangled immediately! I began to untangle this piece of jewelry that was all tangled up. It required patience....and this "not-always-patient" girl was ready for it to be fixed and untangled!

As I was untangling this monster, I felt like God spoke to me SO clearly, "Megan, YOU are this tangled necklace. That is you. I've had to untangle you so many times, and it's required patience. You are still a work in progress, with a knot in your chain here and there."

It was unbelievable and undeniably true! I AM that necklace...and my life has been so tangled up in the past, and still is in some aspects. My chain still has knots in it...it's no where near perfect. I may seem like I have it "all together," but I assure you, I don't. I am a big 'ol mess....and a gigantic work in progress!

This is what completely blows my mind:
*God can take your tangled up life, and untangle it.
*God can take all of your knots, and unravel them.
*God can take all the pieces of your life and make something good out of them.
*God can take your "mess" and turn it into a masterpiece.

Here's what I know for sure: I am a tangled up MESS that God is slowly but surely untangling little by little. Every now and then, I take one step forward and two steps back, but God has been SO patient with me. I am hopeful that one day God will use my tangled-up-life for His glory!

A letter to Heaven

Dear Mawmaw,

Tomorrow marks 3 months since you made your departure into Heaven. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you or miss you tremendously. You were my "best buddy," my biggest fan, and my biggest source of encouragement. I am who I am because of the woman that you were. Thank you for living your life so that Jesus shined through you. So many others know Jesus because Jesus lived in YOU.

I often think of the moments we have shared together, and I'm so grateful that the majority of my childhood memories have you in them. There was never a time you weren't there for me. I loved swinging in the swing in your driveway with you....and singing "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?" I loved swimming in the kiddie pool in your backyard....or running in the sprinklers in your front yard. I loved coming to your house for lunch and eating the yummiest french fries (and hamburgers) with you (while watching The Price is Right! :) I loved it when we played card games....like Go Fish together. I loved sleeping over at your house, and waking up to a hot breakfast on the table, which normally included my favorite breakfast food: bacon. I loved it when I got to go to church with you on Sunday mornings....and I loved reaching for your hand, and holding it while the preacher delivered his message or while we sang hymns. I loved it when you said "That's my buddy!" And I'll never forget singing, "Jesus Loves Me" two nights before you went to be with Jesus. These are just a few moments we shared together....and I am holding onto these memories with everything I've got! You are forever a part of me.

I miss you. I miss your contagious laugh. I miss hearing your voice. I miss holding your hand. I miss the way you could light up any room that you entered with your presence. I miss your smile. I miss the way you used to clap your hands. I miss getting to see you every single day. I miss you, more than words can adequately express.

Thank you for caring about me, spoiling me, praying for me, and most importantly, loving me. I so badly wish you were still with us, but I'm grateful that you have entered into the Joy of your Maker. And I know that you are with me, just in a much different way. I thank God for the opportunity of having a grandmother like YOU. I thank God that you are now watching over us all. I thank God that we shared such an incredible relationship. I thank God for the time I had with you. And I thank God that we can hold onto the HOPE that we WILL see you again. Until then, I live to make you proud.

I love you,
Megan