the One constant.

This Christmas has been unlike any other.  It's been a day faced with difficult reminders.  Difficult visits (the cemetery and nursing home).  Moments where all you can think of is how quickly things have changed.  Yet, I realize this is life.  The direct opposite of constant.  The only constants we can truly depend on is the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and unending, unconditional, and unchanging love of God.  

This is a short post but I'd like to end it with a prayer... simply because sometimes there aren't enough words that are adequate enough to portray what is going on in our hearts and minds.  But God knows.  

God,

Thank You for loving us so much that You not only sent us Your Son, but You sent us a Savior.  Jesus wasn't only a baby born in a manger, but He came here to save us.  

There is so much hurt all around.  Be with every hurting and grieving heart.  Touch them.  Heal them.  Be with everyone who is sick and suffering.  Be with the parents and families who are looking at wrapped presents under a Christmas tree that their sweet child will never be able to open because their life was taken much too soon.  Be with the families who spent part of today standing beside a loved one's grave.  Be with those who are having a hard time trusting Your plan for their life.  Hold them.  Surround them.  Make them so aware of Your presence that there is no denying that it is You.  God, be with us today.  We know that You are.  If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now.  

God, we know that Your plans are greater than our plans.  And Your ways are higher than our ways.  Help us to trust You completely.  We know that You work all things together for our good.  And we thank You.  Thank You for your unending love.  Thank You for being the One constant we can always depend on.  Thank You Jesus.  

Amen.  

college bound.

10 days from today, I will be headed to Mars Hill College. Tonight, my parents and I finished shopping for dorm essentials. Everything is ready to go except for my clothes. So surreal. There aren't enough words to describe what this feels like. I am excited. Happy. Anxious. Nervous. Sad. Ready. Thrilled. The list could go on. Unknowns are never easy, and there is so much that I don't know about what is to come. Mostly, I am looking forward to this new journey with great anticipation. I know that Mars Hill is in God's plans for me. I've visited the college 6 times, and I've felt more and more at home every time. It was like God was telling me, "You belong here." I cannot wait to see what God will teach me there. Praying for great things to happen. I would love and appreciate your prayers as I begin this journey. Check back for more on my blog!

Let's Be Real

What is "okay" anyway?

Ever been asked "Are you okay?" or "How are you?" or "What's wrong?"....and you'd absolutely love to say "I'm great" and actually mean it. How often do we lie? How often do we say "I'm good" or "I'm fine" and not mean a word of it. If you are anything like me, you don't always tell the truth when someone asks you this type of question. You say you're fine. You say you're great. And in reality, it's a complete lie.

My friends and I ask each other how we are doing all the time. Our replies vary. Now it's come to the point where when one of us is lying it's more than obvious to the other person. I am grateful we see through that and are truly able to be there for each other. We're able to break down the wall of "fine" and see that our friend is not so "good" even though they'd like everyone to believe that. I think we'd all be more honest with each other if we didn't feel bad for potentially burdening someone else with how you're "really" doing...

Jesus can be that friend. How often do we pray like everything is okay when in reality your heart is broken and you feel like everything is in pieces? How often do we pray and pretend that we're just fine? WHY? Why do we pray to the ONE that can save us, help us, and heal us and put on a show....when with Jesus, we can be REAL. Our answers don't have to be "fine" or "okay." They can be more along the lines of "I'm hurting and I don't know what to do," or "I just need You" and THAT is okay. We can be real with Jesus. We can give him our burdens. We can lighten our load. We can tell Him how we are really doing. No pretending. No lying. No fake pretenses. Jesus can handle our honesty. We can be real. We can cry. We can shout. Sometimes our tears and our honesty is better than a Hallelujah to Jesus.... the "honest cries of breaking hearts." It's better to Him. Because it shows God that we trust Him. We trust that He can HEAL. HELP. HOLD. LOVE. And make us BETTER.

Let's be honest with God. Let's trust. Let's believe that if we are honest with God, God will make us better. Stronger. Wiser.

I'm trusting. And I'm going to be honest for a change.

Blinded by the Rain

I wanted to share a poem I wrote called Blinded by the Rain. It's something God is teaching me and something I hope God can use to help you too.

Blinded by the Rain

Ever just shut down?
Cause you feel so low to the ground.
No one seems to understand
Why you can't bear to stand

The pain you feel is far too deep
And the mountain you climb seems so steep
Your heart hurts and you realize
That most of what you hear is just a lie

But then you realize that God's love is deep.
Deeper than the hurt, taller than the mountain,
Tougher than the ground,
Wide enough to accommodate your pain.

The pain you feel,
God will exchange for your gain.
He works all things together for our good,
And eventually we won't be blinded by the rain.

We'll see how the pain was used by God,
To show others our strength because of Him.
Eventually it'll make sense and we'll see
God's perfect plan for our lives.

Written by Megan Currie

Six Years.

Six years ago, I was baptized. August 14, 2005, was a day that I'll never forget. It was also a day that I told myself I would never be the same. I was right, I haven't been the same person. My life has been changed by Jesus. I pray that it's obvious to those around me.

The evening before I was baptized, I remember praying that my baptism would not just be part of a church service, not just something I did because others did it, or because it was something you were "supposed to do" in a baptist church, but that it would change the person that I was. I wanted to become serious in following Jesus. I wanted my passion about my Savior to be so obvious.

I cannot remember a time when I have not loved Jesus. Growing up in church, I learned about Jesus and fell in love with Him at a young age. I believe that my faith can be summed up in this one statement: I fall more and more in love with Jesus every single day.

I've learned so much in six years. And I am still learning, and still growing. I've learned that God loves me just the way I am, but loves me so much He refuses to leave me that way. I've learned that just because I am following Christ doesn't mean life is going to be easy, it simply means that it'll be worth it. I've learned that God has saved me from so much more than just hell. I've learned that there is a calling on my life...I don't really know what it is, but I know that one day I will. I've learned that God has a plan for my life....and that my plans don't always match up with God's plans, and 100% of the time His plans are greater than the plans I had for myself. I've learned that without Him, I can do nothing. I've learned that if God isn't in it, it's not going to work. I've learned that I need Jesus more than anything else. I've learned that because He lives, I can face tomorrow. I've learned that when I am weak, He is my strength. When I am down, He will lift me up. When I have no where else to go....I can surely run to Jesus. And for this, I am grateful.

I am grateful for six years of following Jesus. Six years of learning who HE is....who I am....who I hope to be. Six years of learning about Christ, growing in Christ, and running to Him. Six years of falling head-over-heels in love with the One who gave His life so that we might have life, and have it more abundantly.

It's hard for me to believe that six years ago I was baptized "in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," and "raised to walk in newness of life." My prayer is that God would continue to change me. And that my love for Jesus will shine through me, so that others may want to know Him. I pray Jesus is evident in my words and actions. I am asking that He would, "Change my heart, oh God.......Make it ever true.....Change my heart, oh God.......May I be like You." For He is the Potter, and I am the clay..... Mold me and make me, Jesus, this is what I pray.....

The Game Isn't Over.

Earlier this evening, I was playing the game "Fruit Ninja," which consists of using your finger to cut fruit in half, trying to avoid bombs (which results in the game ending if you hit one), and trying not to miss any fruit. It's a three strikes and you are out kind of game, where the goal is to slice as many pieces of fruit in half as possible. It's addicting, but tonight...I was getting so frustrated because I kept hitting the bombs and in turn, losing the game. I saw the words "Game Over" more times than not. Silly, I know...but, I began thinking about it....and realized that my life is a lot like "Fruit Ninja."

Here's what I mean: How often do I get so caught up in "slicing the fruit," and going through the motions of every day life, that I don't stop long enough to look around....and instead hit the "bombs" and mess up? How often do I get stuck in the situation or circumstance I may find myself in and build a wall simply because sometimes feeling something hurts? How often do I feel so defeated that it's like the enemy is saying "Game Over" and I actually begin to fall for it....and I begin to give up, when in reality, I KNOW I shouldn't?

Maybe I'm the only one. Or...perhaps you understand exactly where I'm coming from.

Maybe you feel like Satan is flashing the "Game Over" sign. Maybe you just want to give up. Maybe you feel so defeated that you just don't know what to do. Perhaps you feel like there is absolutely NO way God can make something good out of the situation in which you find yourself. Maybe you feel like you have no purpose, and no potential....and perhaps you feel like God's finished with you. Perhaps you are struggling with what God's plans are for your life. Maybe you have something or someone in your life that has taken the place of God, and God simply isn't your priority. Maybe you feel so far from God, you just don't think you will ever be able to start new again. Perhaps you are feeling so many emotions because of something that has happened in your life, that you are so overwhelmed, you don't even know where to turn. Or maybe...you are simply hurting....

Whatever it is.....here's what I feel like God wants me to say to you, and to me....because I am in need of this too:

*This game of life for you isn't OVER....it's just begun....and Jesus is ready for you. He's ready for YOU and ALL of your problems, feelings, emotions, baggage, and anything else you are willing to give him. Jesus is ready for you. He's ready to carry your burdens for you. "Cast all your anxiety on him because HE CARES FOR YOU." 1 Peter 5:7

*Don't you dare give up. God hasn't given up on you and He has a race marked out for you. Hebrews 12:1-2 says: "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."

*We may feel defeated, but with God as our strength, WHO can defeat us? Romans 9:31 says: "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

*We could possibly feel like there is nothing good to come of what has happened, and there is no way God can make something good out of our situation or circumstance. However, God's word says otherwise. "And we know that in ALL things (not some things, not her things, not his things, but ALL things....) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.

*God ISN'T finished with you yet! God is ready to USE you for His Glory. You have so much God-given purpose and potential within you and God is so ready to let it out of you. He's NOT finished with you!! Philippians 1:6 says: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..."

*God has a plan for you! God's plans are SO much better than the plans that we have for ourselves....He doesn't give us lesser things. God's plan is in place even when your plan for yourself isn't. "For I KNOW the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

*God is closer than you think. If you seek Him, you will find Him. Acts 17:27 says: "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."

*God's love for us will not change. "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

*Lastly, TURN TO JESUS. Run to Him. Go. Just as you are. He's ready for you. He's waiting. If you have no where else to turn....turn to Jesus. Jesus will not let you down.

God is NOT finished with you yet! The game is NOT over. My hope and my prayer is that this would speak to someone. I feel like I wasn't even the writer of this blog....God was. And I know I needed this reminder from God's word. Let it be a reminder to you that God isn't finished.....and the game sure isn't over.

death, grief, and hope.

Death. A subject that is rarely talked or written about, yet it's also a subject that cuts the deepest. In my personal opinion, losing a loved one is the most difficult and excruciating thing any person will ever deal with. Death changes lives and changes people. My grandmother's death in April changed my life, and the lives of those in my family. I vividly remember the day we found out that my Mawmaw had a mere 48 hours left to live. It was a moment we all saw coming as she had been struggling with a horrible long term illness. I sat in a chair in her room in the Intensive Care Unit, and the doctor came in and called my mother and grandpa out of the room. I knew at that moment that the news they would hear wouldn't be good.

I watched my grandmother as she was hooked up to countless machines...and for the first time in a while, she looked comfortable. We had spoken to her the evening before, but the medication she was on had her heavily sedated. Before they came back in, I watched my sweet Mawmaw as she took each breath...I held her hand and gently touched her hair...something that she had spent years doing the same to me. I'll never forget the feeling when they came back into that tiny hospital room and said the words, "48 hours to live." We had all seen it coming, but I had never wanted to face it. I dreaded the day that I would lose my sweet Mawmaw. Tears flowed. I'll never forget looking at her and realizing that within 48 hours, she would no longer be with us.

Later on that day, my entire family filled the room and the doctor took off the machine that was acting as her ventilator. We were told that it could be any amount of time: from an hour to many hours. It just depended on the person. We were all one big mess as we told stories, shared memories, laughed, and especially cried. I vividly remember bursting out into sobs at one point. Terri came over to me and hugged me as I cried. Once I calmed down enough, I asked her to pray. I am not sure I've ever heard a more powerful prayer in all of my life. It was a moment that I went from complete sobs to a strong sense of peace. In that moment, I knew that together, with God's help, my family would make it through this difficult time.

It wasn't until the following day, on April 4th, that my Mawmaw took her last breath on earth. She made her departure and entered into the Joy of her Maker. It was a moment that is forever engraved into the minds and hearts of all who were in the room. The depth of the pain my family was feeling was by far the deepest we've felt. It was excruciating, but in the midst of it, we also had (and still do) a tremendous sense of peace in knowing that she was Home and was with Jesus, where she had been longing to be.

I have never been more grateful for the HOPE that we have in Jesus. My family is still grieving, but not as those without hope. I've learned that you never get over grief and the loss of a loved one, you just get through it. It's a journey, and one that I don't think ever ends. The pain of losing someone is the worst thing in the world, but I am more than grateful that this earth is not our Home. Death isn't a subject that is really discussed. It isn't something that is fun to think about, hear about, read about, or talk about. But, it's necessary. And so is grief. Death is something that comes into our lives, and causes much pain and sorrow. Death is something that changes lives, and changes people. It's changing me. But, the good news is: there is hope in Jesus, and Jesus is our hope when we feel like we have everything...and when we feel like we've lost everything. And absolutely NOTHING can separate us from the love, hope, and eternal life we find in Jesus...not even death. Praise God.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39