Reminded of my Healer.

This morning, I woke up feeling absolutely terrible. I've struggled this year with episodes where my heart continually races, where I feel dizzy, lightheaded, and extremely fatigued. I have my good days, but I also have my share of bad days. This morning was bad, and the feeling hit me quickly. Somehow God managed to prove just how wonderful He is to me....again. The song "Healer" by Hillsong popped into my head. I hadn't listened to it in quite some time, but the words just kept replaying over and over again in my head. I believe that God knew that I needed to be reminded that He is my Healer.

Here are the lyrics.
HEALER by Hillsong

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need


The lines "Nothing is impossible for You," "I believe You're my Healer," "Jesus You're ALL I need," and "You hold my every moment...You calm my raging seas...You walk with me through fire...And heal all my disease." echoed in my head. I know that it is true...and for that I am thankful. I am grateful to be a child of a God who holds my every moment and walks with me in the fire. I am grateful to be a child of a God who loves me, cares for me, and who has the ultimate power to heal me. I am grateful to be a child of a God who is MORE than enough for me....I am grateful that what seems impossible to me is not even remotely difficult for my God. I'm grateful that when I'm losing my grip, God is there to tighten it. I'm grateful that when I need more strength, God can BE my strength. I am so grateful that God is with me through it all. Today, I was reminded of my Healer.

Jesus.....You're ALL I need.

spiritually fed.

This year started out strong for me spiritually. I was ready to run the race God had put before me. The year progressed, and the strong sense of God's presence was fading in my spiritual life. By the time we hit the half way mark, I was longing to feel God's presence surrounding me in a tangible way. I was trying so hard to feel something that seemed like it wasn't there. It was almost like I was a digging in the ground in hopes to end up on the other side of the world...something that seemed impossible. I was discontent...longing to be spiritually fed.

I knew exactly what I was looking for, what I needed, and what I so longed to feel. My aunt and I were texting, she simply said the words, "You need to be spiritually fed." And as I read that text message, I realized that was exactly what I needed. I decided one night a few weeks ago to go to Elevation...I went by myself to clear my head, I had lots on my mind and knew Jesus could do just that. I went and was amazed at how quickly God's presence entered the room. I got goosebumps....it was as if God was in the room sitting right in front of me. His presence was so real. My heart was full. I was content. What I had longed to feel for so long had finally arrived. I left that amazing place of worship refreshed and rejuvenated. It was the most incredible thing. That night, I was spiritually fed. And since then, I would definitely say I have been even more so. I found exactly what I needed, was looking for, and what I longed for....and I found it all in Jesus.

My relationship with God is no where near perfect. I don't always feel God's presence...it's not like I walk into a church and His presence automatically comes over me. I don't have access to some magical switch to feel God's presence. It's the fact that God is always there, but sometimes it's just a matter of letting yourself feel Him.

He had been there all along, but I let myself feel His love around me...and He fed me. Spiritually.

"Jesus is always there, it's just a matter of opening your eyes and finding Him."

life lately...

It seems like forever since I've blogged. I sit down to write, but words just don't come. I've been in a funk...I feel like I've had one too many bad days, and many difficult things to deal with lately. Ever just been so sick and tired of things that you just can't stand it? When you don't know whether to cry or scream? That's where I've been lately.

However...
I'm thankful that God knows my heart...and that He holds my head UP when the only direction it wants to go is down. I'm thankful that especially in the midst of all that is going on around me, God's been there the whole time. I'm thankful that weeping may last for a night, but dancing comes in the morning. I'm thankful for the light that I am certain will shine at the end of this tunnel, even though right now I feel like I'm in the darkness. I'm thankful that when I am in the darkness, God is there to hold my hand, and be my flashlight.

"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail but my God, You never will. Give me faith, to trust what You say....that You're good...and Your Love is great."